With the holiday season coming up (Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Boxing Day), many couples have the unfortunate, daunting task of deciding which holiday to spend with which family. This drama is unfolding in my fanily with the recent engagement of my sister to her long distance boyfriend, Mr. Michigan.

Having had our own intimate celebrations with our close and immediate family, we wondered when the best time would be to celebrate with our extended family. The obvious choice was the Saturday after Christmas, since we know everyone is free around that time. The problem is that his family lives in Michigan and we want to celebrate with them but we can't impose on their plans and ask them to fly all the way out to Maryland.

I can't help but wonder: how do couples decide where to spend their holidays? Thanksgiving can be spent with one family one year and the other the next. But the other major winter holidays are actually religious and important times to spend with one's fanily. Do you have a solution to this problem or a funny story regarding going to your boyfriend or girlfriend's house for the holidays?

This weekend, my friend Aislinn is hosting her ex's sister here at Fordham. And while I'm glad that Aislinn's friend is here, I can't help but think it's a little weird. Aislinn and her ex had a clean breakup at the end of the summer. And while they're on good terms, he's all the way in Ohio so how could they not be? It's not like they see each other every day.

Which brings me to the awkwardness of the sister's visit. They probably won't talk about the relationship but what if they do? I'm sure they would both want to. Aislinn might want to know about her ex. Does he think about her? Does he talk about her? The sister might want to know the same about Aislinn.

For me, being friends with my ex's sister/brother might not be a good idea, or at least not such good friends to have them fly out to NYC to visit me. I just think the chance of things becoming uncomfortable is too much for me. Have you ever spent alone time with an ex's sibling? Was it weird or am I just being neurotic?

 Last fall, I had a girlfriend -blah!- and for a while we were great together. But there was a major problem but my now ex didn't have the guts to tell me: she was jealous of my girl friends. At first, I thought she was fine with it because I'd hang out with them with her. Sure, there were a few times I'd hang out with someone else instead of her but I thought it was fine because couples need their space plus I'm not going to sacrifice my friends for the sake of a girl.

The one time this was an issue was last Halloween when I chose to go see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D with my friend Shannon instead of going the Parade in the Village with my girlfriend. I told her that I'm not a Halloween person and I hate the Village and she said she understood. But later, her roommates told me she was upset about it and complained about it the whole to the parade. Um, hello? Open and honest communication, are you there?

Other such drama occured because my girlfriend would insist every girl was flirting with me (hardly the truth; I'm not the kind of guy with whom girls flirt and I don't know how to flirt myself). And the thing is, if my ex-gf would have just told me she had a problem, I would have done something about it. But she always said she understood that I'm just more comfortable with girls and make friends with them more easily than with guys. I know that if the situation were reversed, I would have no problem. Friends are friends; lovers are lovers. That's my motto when it comes to this kind of thing.

Does it bother you if your girl or guy has a lot of friends of the opposite sex? Should it bother you?