manishmathur's Datingish

"I Live Here But I've Never Seen the Sights."

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:57:18 GMT

Something that I've noticed is that when I visit cities, I usually go straight to the main tourist attractions. But people who live there never get around to visiting the attractions.

Even when my family and I go to India, we always go to our family's house and it wasn't until two years ago, my sixth trip to India, that we saw the Taj Mahal.

Have you been to the "hot spots" in your area?

Is Beyonce Too Popular to Get an Oscar?

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:28:07 GMT

Let me just admit this right now: I am a loyal devotee of Miss Beyonce Knowles. She can do no wrong in my book. So, this post will be very biased. Okay, disclaimer over.

As much as I love Beyonce's music and films, I knew she wasn't a serious actress. Except in Dreamgirls, she hasn't contributed much to the film world.

Until now. As Etta James in the musical biopic Cadillac Records, Beyonce delivers a revolutionary, explosive performance and she brings the house down singing four of Ms. James's biggest hits. She got almost universal praise for her role from the critics and people clapped in the theater at the end.

Now, you know and I know that this movie is a response to Jennifer Hudson's award-winning performance in Dreamgirls. But Beyonce did just as well as Ms. Hudson but in less time and with more class.

The question the critics and people on IMDb are asking is: will she get the nomination for Best Supporting Actress? Wondering if she'll win is a stretch; she's up against a lot of competition (Viola Davis/Amy Adams in Doubt, Kate Winslet in The Reader, Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona) but the nom is a possibility.

Her problem? She's too famous. The Oscar people usually look down on household names especially if they're not a "legitimate" actor. So, the question is: is Beyonce too popular to get any Oscar attention?

Why Quantum of Solace Deserves a 2nd Viewing

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 13:27:08 GMT

I know a lot of people were disappointed with the 22nd Bond film Quantum of Solace which released about two and a half weeks ago. I wasn't one of them. I thought it was better than the Dalton-era Bond films and much better than Sean Connery's unofficial Thunderball remake, Never Say Never Again. I saw it again last night and enjoyed it even more. So, for all you haters out there, here are my top 10 reasons why QoS should be seen twice.

10. The plot is easier to understand the second time around. We all wondered what the fuss was about the Bolivian water system but now I realized it's about the big countries controlling the survival of a smaller, more politically turbulent country aka world domination.

9. The action scenes are amazing. Land, water, air, fire, opera-house, car chase, hotel, church--yup, all the standard action sequence locations are covered and they're awesome.

8. Mathieu Almaric is so much fun.

7. Jeffrey Wright returns with his revisionist portrayal of CIA agent Felix Leiter.

6. The climax is one of the best in the Bond series.

5. Strawberry Fields and her homage to Goldfinger.

4. Daniel Craig is not only good eye candy but a great actor bringing a depth to Bond that the other ones couldn't.

3. Judi Dench is so great as M that I have to remind myself that M was once played by a man.

2. The film makes good use of its probably large location budget--Italy, Bolivia, Russia, Austria, London, Haiti.

1. Olga Kurylenko. Her portrayal of Camille reminds me of Melina Havelock from For Your Eyes Only. Also, I'm glad there wasn't a romance because it would have looked out of place. Olga really holds her own in the climax.

Of course, the film isn't perfect. It's nowhere near its predecessor in greatness Casino Royale. And the main titles song "Another Way to Die" is a mess. But, even so, QoS deserves to be seen again.

Gender Roles in a Relationship

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:23:35 GMT

One of my good friends from high school, Craig, told me about his adventures as a newly outed gay guy in college. He told me how hard it was to land a date because of one problem:

Craig, my dear friend, is consistiently, hopelessly and mercilessly attracted to straight guys. It wasn't that he wanted to turn them into homosexuals. He said that it was more that he liked the manliness of them, the way they dress, the way they act. Craig said he was turned off by effeminate men--even though he admits he is one sometimes. Or maybe that's part of it.

Craig's dilemma had me thinking about gender roles in a relationship. Some people say that a relationship should be between a man and a woman. And maybe there's some truth to that...but not in the way you think. Perhaps in each relationship someone has to fill the conventionally male role or the conventionally female role but it doesn't matter who fills which role.

What do you think on gender roles in a relationship? Do you and your SO fill a specific role in your relationship?

Is Being Forward Bad?

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:37:01 GMT

My friend Mary and I went to Puccini's last night, which is one of those restaurants where you're not sure if the food is good enough to distract you from the bad service. While we were there, Mary filled me in on the developments in her love life. Or maybe I should say sex life.

She's attracted to two guys. The first is Luke who is her Physics lab partner. Their relationship was purely academic and casual until one day they decided to go to dinner together and it became a date. They had a good chemistry so they hung out again on Halloween, drinking and smoking and playing guitar. I am totally against smoking but Mary is one of those people who make it glamorous and sexy. In fact, Mary is a very glamorous and sexy girl herself. She's fashionable, actually has a body instead of a stick, enjoys a good meal and a good book, and knows how to party and how to be a good student. She's perfect in every way. Which is what Luke said to her after a night of (almost) sex (if you know what I mean). He sounded sincere and Mary was beginning to see herself in a relationship with him. Unfortunately she was tossed aside for the bitch ex-girlfriend in Boston.

A couple days later, she met Mathew and they hit it off really well and she ended up sleeping with him. He was the best sex she ever had and she would casually flirt with him, hoping their relationship would grow. And then he never called again, indicating that this was just a one-night stand. Mary knew that one night of sex doesn't amount to a relationship but she thought since the sex was so good, he'd call her again.

It's said that guys like the chase; they like playing the game. Mary herself knows this but, as she puts it, "Playing games doesn't get me laid." It made me wonder: was Mary's forwardness her undoing? Is Mary doomed to a life of one-night stands? In your opinion, does being sexually forward mean not being taken seriously?

Holiday Celebrations: Your Family or Mine?

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:37:56 GMT

With the holiday season coming up (Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Boxing Day), many couples have the unfortunate, daunting task of deciding which holiday to spend with which family. This drama is unfolding in my fanily with the recent engagement of my sister to her long distance boyfriend, Mr. Michigan.

Having had our own intimate celebrations with our close and immediate family, we wondered when the best time would be to celebrate with our extended family. The obvious choice was the Saturday after Christmas, since we know everyone is free around that time. The problem is that his family lives in Michigan and we want to celebrate with them but we can't impose on their plans and ask them to fly all the way out to Maryland.

I can't help but wonder: how do couples decide where to spend their holidays? Thanksgiving can be spent with one family one year and the other the next. But the other major winter holidays are actually religious and important times to spend with one's fanily. Do you have a solution to this problem or a funny story regarding going to your boyfriend or girlfriend's house for the holidays?

Not All Republicans are Homophobic!

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 18:57:15 GMT

I visited Boston this past weekend. While at some Halloween party, the topic of the elections came up since apparently 2008 was some landmark year or something and I guess college students are passionate about politics. I made the mistake of telling some guy I was voting for McCain and thus I was made an enemy of the state of Massachusetts. Immediately, I was asked if I hated gay people and was against gay marriage. Um, what? I know that the Republican party is generally socially conservative but this year in my opinion was more about economic policies than social ones. (One of the major reasons why I chose McCain over President Obama was because I don't agree with the President's tax policies.) Republican stereotypes aside, how does one even just ask that? The question was followed by a long speech about how homosexuals are people too. Great, thanks, I didn't know this was 1954. The guy wasn't even drunk! I wanted to ask hin if he wanted to kill unborn babies but then I realized that not only am I above that but I am also pro-choice.

The whole experience made me uncomfortable because I felt ostracized just for having an opinion that was outside the NYC college student stereotype. But the whole immediate "do you hate gay people" question was the most puzzling. Was this guy just an extreme liberal or are his ideas shared by most of the Democratic party? I'd like to point out that both Sarah Palin and VP Biden said they were against gay marriage. I'm not too sure about President Obama (he changes every time!) but I know that McCain said that a ban is un-Republican. So maybe some people should do their research.

Well, anyway, I was wondering if there were any gay Republicans out there or just one? Also, did other Republicans get a similar backlash? Or if you reacted like my Bostonian BFF, why?

Being Friends with an Ex's Sister

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 17:43:17 GMT

This weekend, my friend Aislinn is hosting her ex's sister here at Fordham. And while I'm glad that Aislinn's friend is here, I can't help but think it's a little weird. Aislinn and her ex had a clean breakup at the end of the summer. And while they're on good terms, he's all the way in Ohio so how could they not be? It's not like they see each other every day.

Which brings me to the awkwardness of the sister's visit. They probably won't talk about the relationship but what if they do? I'm sure they would both want to. Aislinn might want to know about her ex. Does he think about her? Does he talk about her? The sister might want to know the same about Aislinn.

For me, being friends with my ex's sister/brother might not be a good idea, or at least not such good friends to have them fly out to NYC to visit me. I just think the chance of things becoming uncomfortable is too much for me. Have you ever spent alone time with an ex's sibling? Was it weird or am I just being neurotic?

Zack and Miri's Porno Made Me Laugh

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:53:29 GMT

The sex comedy is an art form which doesn't really get the importance it deserves. The Los Angeles Times had an article about comedies continuously getting snubbed by the Oscars. The article says that the reason why comedies don't get Oscar attention because comedy looks effortless and drama always looks like it puts a strain on its actors. The irony is that comedy is even harder because sad things make people cry but what brings laughter about is more ambiguous.

This brings me to Zack and Miri Make a Porno. This movie is at heart a very sweet love story about how Zack and Miri, who have been platonic friends for about 20 years, finally realize their true feelings for each other. The very likable Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks play the "I get jealous when I see you with other people" almost innately as if Zack and Miri knew deep down they'd end up together. The jealousy happens and no one notices and then it mounts and builds until it explodes. It's absolutely beautiful.

Zack and Miri, however, is also a sex comedy in its truest form. It is a comedy about sex. The ridiculousness of it, the romance of it, the pornographic part of it--all of these themes are explored in this comedy. It doesn't condemn pornography nor does it condone it. It's just a well-made comedy about sex and all that goes with it. When Zack and Miri finally shoot their, er, scene, it i s deemed unusable because there's too much love. Even Zack states that they didn't have sex, they made love.

I couldn't help but wonder: has anyone experienced a platonic-turned-romantic relationship like Zack and Miri? Also, what are your thoughts on the differences between sex and making love?

Most of My Friends are Girls, Does That Bother You?

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:25:48 GMT

Last fall, I had a girlfriend -blah!- and for a while we were great together. But there was a major problem but my now ex didn't have the guts to tell me: she was jealous of my girl friends. At first, I thought she was fine with it because I'd hang out with them with her. Sure, there were a few times I'd hang out with someone else instead of her but I thought it was fine because couples need their space plus I'm not going to sacrifice my friends for the sake of a girl.

The one time this was an issue was last Halloween when I chose to go see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D with my friend Shannon instead of going the Parade in the Village with my girlfriend. I told her that I'm not a Halloween person and I hate the Village and she said she understood. But later, her roommates told me she was upset about it and complained about it the whole to the parade. Um, hello? Open and honest communication, are you there?

Other such drama occured because my girlfriend would insist every girl was flirting with me (hardly the truth; I'm not the kind of guy with whom girls flirt and I don't know how to flirt myself). And the thing is, if my ex-gf would have just told me she had a problem, I would have done something about it. But she always said she understood that I'm just more comfortable with girls and make friends with them more easily than with guys. I know that if the situation were reversed, I would have no problem. Friends are friends; lovers are lovers. That's my motto when it comes to this kind of thing.

Does it bother you if your girl or guy has a lot of friends of the opposite sex? Should it bother you?